It always seem - just as you are riding that wave of happiness, feeling content and not thinking of anything but the moment - something (or nothing in particular) comes along and makes you feel flat, less than amazing and somewhat down in the dumps!
yesterday was one such day. nothing to do with Lottie Pearl. all just to do with me. granted, extra hair pulling, being vomited on and a day of teething anguish didn't do much in the way of improving my flatness! I then made myself feel guilty for temporarily being less than the mama LP needs me to be.
Lottie Pearl is now nearly 7 months old and whilst our little family continues to settle in and feel just fab I find myself at odds with the outside world. Again, this conundrum of who am i, where do i fit in now etc. My mum always tells me "don't overthink it" so I console myself with the notion that Its Okay to feel like I don't have any petrol left in the tank. Its Okay to hand LP over to K and say "please take her" whilst i spend a little alone time in bed.
Leaving the house on a chilly winter night was not really what I had in mind, but we had a long planned dinner with my Mothers group, sans babes, and boy did it fill my tank right up! So good to laugh, be unattached, make irreverent jokes about any manner of things and just relish in the moment of feeling rejuvinated by each others company.
When we move, I'll miss these ladies more than words can say.
and today? I wake up feeling excited to pick Lottie Pearl up out of her cot. Excited about a day of hair pulling, traversing our neighbourhood despite the weather and most of all just relishing in the company of ourselves. cause it just won't. last. forever.
I quite often find myself trying to figure out who am i or how did I find myself in this situation then usually after a meltdown I wonder why I was stressing out in the first place! parenting is sometimes plain hard! I might steal your idea and suggest to my mum's group we have a night out without the babes! such a great idea!!
ReplyDeleteoh do it! we're now making it a monthly dinner! and we're having a 'man day' soon, where our husbands come to mothers group with us so they can all meet! they are all jealous of our fun times :)
ReplyDeleteWe had a mother's night out last Saturday - twas pure awesomeness (although had to do a pregnancy test beforehand...won't even go there!:) We had cocktails (espresso martinis decafinated!) and then dinner. Didn't even miss the babe even though she has been attached to me 24/7. The catch up afterwards made it even better, reports of husbands dealing with crying babies, babies who slept who normally never slept, mamas dealing with night feeds whilst hungover. We are doing every month too! Love this post - you write beautifully!
ReplyDeletei love it - espresso martini decaf? lose the booze but not the caffeine? i say all or nothing :) i love a good espresso martini! its amazing how refreshed you can feel after a bit of time away from the family! i think we try and make ourselves feel guilty for having time to ourselves but its crazy cause we have a 24/7 job!
ReplyDeleteI love my mother's group as well, without them, I think I'll would have more major meldowns that is for sure! I've met the mums at mother's group once without the babies and it was so much fun to to not have to constantly be bouncing them our laps!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog btw! I wish I was as good as you at making stuff!