update

hello! what a busy last couple of week! and i find myself with a moment of time and felt the need to write a few lines.......so what have we been up to?

i turned twenty nine. mum visited for 4 weeks and it was amazing. not one barney! not one! had a few too many hangovers (with a live in babysitter, going out was sometimes too tempting!). we have hung out at the pool. done LOADS of packing. Lottie is now standing (holy meatballs!) and she has so many new party tricks! lots of park playing and picnics. visiting the public baths every day of last week. enjoying our fave cafe at the moment kitschen pantry (pictured above - if we sit outside, LP can look at dogs and dig in the dirt whilst I attempt to drink my coffee).

what i didn't get much done of was crafting. I found having my sewing machine sitting on the table was creating a bit of pressure and I didn't like that feeling at all! So, like I did with my blog - I packed her away and just enjoyed living in the moment. I feel like I made the right choice. I will have a lot more 'alone' time once we move to Perth as I just don't have the network of stay at home mamas to play with that I do here so I thought better to enjoy them (and mum) whilst we still live in the vicinity.

lots of emotions are swirling. I will write about them as they come to me. Needing a place to get them out and here is as good as any! I realised I've been purposefully trying to deny any feelings about leaving - with a small baby its easy to ignore the future and just live day to day. But as our departure date (nov 12) looms it becomes more apparent that I can't block it out. Tears have been coming thick and fast and I've just got to go with it!

we have also been sent photographs of the place we are most likely going to be living. It is massive compared to our melbourne 2 bedrooms (3 bedrooms with massive kitchen and two living rooms) but it is going to need a lot of TLC. It even has lime green laminex in the kitchen! hahahaha. Anyway - we will inspect when we arrive and take it from there. Kee is an electrician and my Dad is a carpenter/painter so I feel that all will be well.

It will be so different from where we currently live. So close to the city - such a small, urban community. Where we are headed is definitely a lower socio-economic area but our place is next to a large park with great play equipment and 10 minutes from the beach. And - now its time to put our money where our mouth is - we always say we embrace a diverse community so now is the time to prove it!

hope you are all well out there! I have missed your friendly faces, notes and thoughts!

{break in transmission}

Since Poppy died I haven't felt the need to blog. Through my time as a blogger I have gone through bouts of wondering "why blog" and always returned with ferver. But as we approach this crazy time - walking, toddlerhood, moving interstate, change of EVERYTHING - i feel like i need to concentrate on living. appreciating what I have left of where I live and the amazing life we have built around ourselves.

it is incredibly emotional to think about leaving this house. my child was born into it. not to mention the amazing dinner parties. the loungeroom conversion into a killer dancefloor. this neighbourhood has been our lifeline when it felt like we were trapped in an endless bubble with a newborn. now it seems fitting that as we start to spread our wings, so too, we shed our current little coccoon.

so it will be rather quiet around here. i have LOVED the solidarity i have been so lucky to have built up with many of you. it has kept me company when i felt lonelier than ever before. it has inspired me. made me feel like this world is a grand old place!

but now its time to focus on everything that lay in front of me today and in the near future. I even deleted my facebook account! I will of course keep reading along and peeping into your lives as you have new stories to share. and most importantly, will reconnect when the time is right! my blog may even begin its fourth rebirth!

i would DEARLY love to connect with those that live on the west coast. its a scary thing leaving my mamas here and it will feel so nice to know I have some fellow ladies out there who 'understand'.

so take care all.....much love to you, your families and little ones. can't wait to see you on the other side of all of this crazy, hectic hard work we have in front of us!

xxx

RIP Bomber Lancaster

Living with Pop was like living with a Legend. Although it was hard to tell whether he WAS an actual Legend or whether it was all talk and he lead you to believe he was a legend. When I was little I thought everyone knew my Pop and that no matter what you were after - meat, new tyres, a car? Pop knew a bloke who owed him a favour and would give you a discount. I grew up thinking that everything literally fell off the back of a truck. 

Pop gave us the backbone on which we built our childhood. Uduc Road was heaven to us kids. So much naughty stuff to get up to - the thrill of it increased by the thought of Pop catching us. Nan would let us run wild - hiding in gallon drums filled with chook feed, climbing the shed, eating dog biscuits, skidding along the moss in the fernery, using big syringes from the vet clinic to squirt the little cousins whilst atop the shade house. Then word would get out. Pop was home and he sure was grumpy! You would skidaddle as quickly as you could. Assuming your positions of 'seen and not heard' lest you be given a good old clip around the ear 'ole. Pop would sit down in his Rock Rock, white pepper laden roast on his side table with Sale of the Century at volume 50. We all knew better than to play up during that time or suffer the wroth! 

Over time Pop mellowed a little - he was still King of the Roost - but after Nan got sick, Pop became much more demonstrative of his love for her and the pride he had for his big brood. After a few beers, he'd lean in - nostril hair and all - and give you a shpeel about what a magnificent woman our Nan was. We always replied "ahhh, yup Pop - how the HELL do you think she has put up with you for so long?". Never one to shy away from sharing his opinion you'd always know what he thought. I recall him once telling me it looked like I'd been let loose in a good pasture which was Pop's not too subtle way of telling me I'd put on weight. Thanks Pop. His undeniable knack for a witty, quick cut-down must have been genetic though and in time, all of us kids would learn to give as good as we got! 

Now Pop is no longer with us it truly feels like the end of an era. The memories too many, too funny, too poignant. What is so tangible however is that foundation he gave us. That backbone on which we find ourselves building on no matter where all of us kids are or what we find ourselves doing. That nothing trumps the importance of good education and family. His master plan revealed to us in the end which is that he just wanted us to be all happy together and that nothing beats a walk in the bush, a barbecue with the family or dressing up as Father Christmas and grossing your grandchildren out with your freaky teeth (or lack thereof).

So I think it fitting for all of us to imagine him sitting back, glass of ice cold home brew in hand, with that magic wink and smile combo, watching us all usher in this new era. We love you Pop and we promise we'll do you proud.

happy birthday

happy birthday kee

thanks for making me say no to ugly things in op shops and making sure we ALWAYS have good music to dance to!

love your girls xxx

false advertising

the weather has been amazing and we managed to ram our pram into the back of the estelle to drink beers on haystacks in the sun as part of the high noon festival. i felt bad 'cause all these people were coo'ing at my tiny human who was happily dancing on my lap for an entire hour and it felt like false advertising. i felt like i needed to have a sign that hung around my neck saying "criminally tired. hungry. pants i just washed and am wearing already covered in soggy cruskit".

BTW - how amazing are cruskits? yes they are tasty but boy, i never imagined they could buy you 5 minutes of peace. I try not to give her too many cause I just imagine them being like polystyrene buoys expanding in her gut. although maybe they could absorb all of those blueberries she has been fanging for lately!

we did have a pretty great weekend though. besty in town. roasted pork belly. ate way too much food. went op shopping. again - its all in the balance...............

a good day

as a fairly new parent, i'm constantly surprised at my tolerance level for shitness. ie: i remember getting upset about a lot of fairly insignificant things prior to having a baby.

yesterday:

+i accidentally skidded across a friends living room floorboards, knocked over my kid who knocked over her kid who fell and aquired her first facial bruising and went on to scream for the next ten minutes.

+found a vegemite smear on my boob. who from? i couldn't quite tell.

+and get this....*gasp*....wee-d when i sneezed. 

and do you know what? i considered yesterday a pretty awesome day.

(incredible quilty thing full of similar reckless abandon via here)

things to make and do

my mum is coming over for the entire month of october. i was supposed to be going back to work for that time but i got major separation anxiety and felt totally overwhelmed by it so i kicked it to the curb....

so with a spare set of hands i'm going to set myself some lofty goals. mainly packing up the house but also lots of crafting. i haven't been very crafty as of late (although i have just crocheted her a little jumper dress which i'll photograph soon) and i have a fairly lengthy list!

i have decided that for Lottie Pearl's first birthday I want to make her something instead of buying her something. She won't even have a clue anyway. And i'm guessing that my crafting time will be reduced to even less with a busy toddler on my hands next year so here are some of the things i'm thinking about...........

dolly and clothes
dolly in suitcase
fold out pillow bed
birdie wings
sock monkey
dress

do you have any ideas on dealing with your kids first birthday? will you say 'no presents' or 'books only' or maybe even 'handmade' only? have you already bought some presents? do share!

records and ranunculus

the ubiquitous ikea abacus was the reason behind this week's black eye. it has now turned a lovely green colour and it is garnering two kinds of looks from people. the 'double take have you bashed yr kid' look and the 'i feel your pain' look from parents who have recently gone through the stacking stage. so for now, the abacus has hit the top shelf amongst play of the days. i mean really, do you have a hope in hell of turning out normal if we play you purple rain? we always play you party tunes to get you psyched for bath time. nude and dancing. really. is there anything better?

on the domestic front, i have ignored our vege patch and garden since your arrival. last time i think i was in it was when i was weeding frantically and bawling - you were 14 days overdue and i was massive. the ranunculus never need love and they STILL show their casually beautiful faces, rewarding me for total laziness. that reminds me - we need to organise a busy bee for the garden before we leave.

meanwhile - i am shitfully sick again. we have had a scare with croup and LP is coughing her guts up at night and sounding raspy. nothing worse than youtubing croup coughs at night whilst your husband is out and your baby is crying and barking. s.c.a.r.y. she had a few episodes but then not a peep till morn. so hopefully she is just sick like me and it doesn't escalate. as a consequence we will miss playgroup and are off to the doctors.

dont' think much day time sleep will happen today - once again we'll be exiled to the park to stare at dogs, eat leaves and laugh at the wind blowing (does the breeze blowing in their faces make your kids automatically smile or is it just LP?).

in other words *bleurgh*

gogs and cogs

an oldie but a goldie.....swimming goggles. they keep you satisfied in the supermarket. in the pram. waiting for mama's necessary 7:30am coffee.

and recently, you have been enjoying wearing them whilst waiting at the traffic lights or getting your nappy changed. even sitting on my lap. your head turns from side to side and i can't help but make whooshing sounds and rock you gently all around, up and down, side to side.

don't think i haven't noticed those cogs whirring and turning, quicker than ever before....

mixed bag

mixed bag weekend. saturday = good. sunday = bad.

realised we had cooked lunch for friends for the first time since lottie pearl's birth. felt like a 'moment'. lottie pearl marked the occasion by giving herself a giant, puffy, black eye.

the second in as many weeks!

3 piles

 

 

i guess it is rather convenient that we are starting to pack up just as lottie pearl has learnt to crawl and pull up and trash everything in sight. 

3 piles have started. Op Shop. Garage Sale. Pack. 

I ditched a few old collages I made and many superfluous pretty things have ended up in the garage sale pile. i even unceremoniously threw out almost half of my teenage/uni photo albums. i used to photographically document EVERYTHING and had them printed out in hard copy. these albums weigh a tonne and i've dragged them everywhere. i really don't need so many pictures of me and my friends getting trashed in parks or on camping trips. so i kept a a fair few and dumped the rest in the big bin. 

i love being ruthless. or maybe i just like feeling more than okay without all that STUFF.

(but don't get any ideas keegan. i am not. i repeat NOT throwing out any of my books on weaving, string art, paper flower making or macrame - none of which i can actually do...but that is NOT the point!)

double life

i've been too busy with my double life to even mention it........but i've been getting out and around. espresso martinis have been fueling this fire! i even got myself a haircut and put my face on! (which consists of moisturiser from the health food shop, some mascara and some smelly stuff).

i'd write more but oh, gee, i'm headed out again! hump day drinks and dinner with the mamas.

postscript: kee shaved his hair/beard and LP didn't recognise him...it seems to have bought on our first major case of separation anxiety.....

one photo

if i had to choose ONE photo to explain my kid? well this would be it.

arms flailing, excitement plus, going berko in anticipation of seeing chooks and leaning over/out sideways over the pram, those starfish hands rippling at a million miles an hour......

what would yours be?

postscript: fucking pram broke this morning. wheel rim snapped off. bought it new 8 months ago! not a happy mama!!!

coughs & chaos

tough week, thank god the lurgy doesn't belong to US anymore. although k-man is feeling rather sorry for himself.....it has been nice having him a permanent doona monster on the sofa as we go about our day.

finally crawling - less whinging. but more crying due to amazing pulling up stacks. this girl only has one thing in mind and that is being vertical. redecorating was a must. we are now pulling off the 'minimalist' look. but only for half the house. everything waist height is gone and every surface above waist height is total chaos. time for a garage sale.

building site blue mesh fence has GONE and we have now replaced it with total love and adoration for old car yard bunting blowing in the wind. seriously. she is enraptured.

prammy walks have been our saviour. be gone cabin fever, teething, lurgy and crawling frustration!

daddy

a card we made at playgroup and tacos from the taco truck

thankyou daddy. we love you, even though you are now infected with our lurgy.

don't stop lovin' us

xxx

lottie pearl can officially crawl......safety tips puh-leeease!

marital bliss

we walk past this each morning and it makes me smile every time.

kee: *long, loud fart that can be heard from the living room*
fifi: is that your mating call?
kee: that is the last post playing of my mating call

ahhhh. marital bliss. it is somehow weird that the thing you have to do in order to get a kid is the thing that is hardest to keep up with once the kid arrives.

stillness/sleeping is overrated

day time sleeps are scant - blocked nose? teeth? general big girl-ness? i'm not sure but FUCK i'm tired! thankfully one of the mamas bought some beers to the park this afternoon. essential. thankgod you have been 'sleeping in' until after 6am.

your nude crawling is hilarious, as is your need to bang the shit out of everything. oh, and that little bit of excitement wee you do before your bath? well its downright hilarious.

walk walk walk walk walk

colours make our world go round! can you see that awesome basket i've been eyeing up for LP's toys? too many clam shells unfortunately. LP gave herself a mini black eye stacking it on her toy crate yesterday *mother fail*

(my mum did warn me and of course i didn't listen.....)

on the cusp!

what a terribly demented day yesterday turned out to be! all we could do was do what we do best - strolling and looking and not spending a minute more than is necessary indoors. we caught a bus for kicks, strolled through preston chinatown, did our usual laps of glory around the nighbourhood. and all the while, trying your hardest not to blow my mind with your 'whinge-crying'. i know its not your fault poor baby but you did do my head in yesterday.

as always though, you redeemed yourself by virtually crawling for the first time. i lured you with my childhood fisher and price record player and it worked a TREAT. you can now make a few tentative 'crawling steps' but mainly go backwards. you can also officially pull yourself onto the sofa.

every morning on our early morning pram walk you demand to touch this piece of blue mesh on a building site fence. i wheel you as close as the wheels will let us and you delight in taking your time to really feel every detail.

morning muse

went for our usual morning stroll and it was 4 degrees *damn* and it was chilly......but nothin' ticks our boxes as much as watching trams rumble by, trucks clunk by, school kids on their way, bikes zooming past and rosellas having their breakfast blossoms. how amazing are the magnolias?

today we plan to battle the snot with more outings! pram rides and park plays and maybe even another trip to CERES. all in the name of distraction. hard cause I'm sick as well so to keep the energy up is challenging but of course doable. isnt' that the best thing about motherhood? i thought i had no inner strength - as it turns out - i do!

and whilst i'm musing....don't you love it when you share a smile of solidarity with another mother on an early morning pram walk? there are so many of us doing the same thing, almost co-existing without even knowing it. so its nice to connect and say "goodmorning". knowing someone else is out looking at birds with their little human whilst sucking back a morning coffee makes it a-o-k.

tryin' our darndest!

despite sickness finally hitting our household (for the first time) we are having fun.

pram walks // parks // looking at dogs // laughing at chickens // playing vigorously in the tupperware crate // cafes // CERES //

snuffling and smiling all at the same time! i've noticed that as of late i've been a bit glass half empty so today, despite sickness spoiling sleep-time i have been half glass FULL.

meanwhile - instagram is ADDICTIVE!

mixed bag

good and bad this weekend.....

good: MEGA tax return // visit from aunty sian // sunshine // husband had friday off // got my first ever phone that wasn't just from the post office pre-paid display cabinet // went for a beautiful little family arvo cuppa at CERES and then a walk along the creek // LP doing loads of dancing

bad: LP developing a nasty habit of waking pre-6am // LP and i battling first ever bout of sickness // finding out my phone has not been sending messages for the last 2 weeks which has left me wondering why no one in my life has been responding to me!

(p.s. so what do i think, as a former photographer, about instagram? this is my first ever phone with a camera. i've always been a fan of low-fi photography so i like it on that front. i also think that photography is for the masses and owned by everyone so again, it appeals to me in that sense. what do i think about these photo treatments? i guess i like them. what i might like more is that i remember using a wood rasper to rasp the inside edges of my negative holder to achieve this actual look when i used to hand print everything in a dark room. those were the days eh? meanwhile i'll enjoy this plastic fantastic instant satisfaction device!)

jasmine spells spring

dear melbourne,
when we leave you i'll miss the way your seasons remind me of things to come. jasmine spells spring and kee's birthday. we're waving goodbye to the last of the camelias and the magnolias are putting on a brilliant show. i'm even getting to dry some washing out in your very generous sunshine. feeling decidedly reflective and nostalgic about our time with you and will try and relish every moment we have left
xxx

the jasmine creeper outside our laundry & a new bedspread i bought months ago from an oppy, pleading for a dryclean

is it me? or is it you?

what is it about maternal health nurse check up appointments that leave you feeling like your child is defficient in every way?

we had one today and the major facts i've come away with are: my kid is a midget who doesn't babble.

that is despite the lovely maternal health nurse (a new one) who was so sweet she told me she LOVED my list of questions and gave me a whopping 30 minutes to take it slowly and and get to know us. she was reassuring, calm, quietly spoken, rational, reasonable, practical and compassionate.

this kid is so inquisitive she'd hear a pin drop. she moves and dances like a maniac and won't keep still for quids. she drops big toofy smiles like a rapper drops swear words and besides.......good things come in little packages!!!

loony

does wind make you feel loony? it totally makes me and my kid CRAZY! if the wind DOES change our faces, we would have a permanently demented expression complete with dishevelled hair! no doubt the ever present food stains on us both would just add to our infirmed look.

meanwhile - i can't get enough of these beautiful tulips unfolding. i probably take the same photos every year of tulips. whilst many people only like them in their 'pursed' form, i love them the more hagged and sloppy they get. please ignore that hideous grey 'feature' stripe from the roof. how dare it make my tulips look all 80's? (although i'm quite partial to yellow and grey as a combo). hideous paint jobs are but a renters reality!

nowadays the kid is capable of staying up for 3 hours at a time. this sees me falling asleep at around 8pm absolutely knackered from the mega-walks, the adventure playground, the dancing, the 'walking about', the noise-making, the bike-riding...........this kids just doesn't stop. it may just be the secret ingredient of my post-preggo weight loss.

finally, rest in piece dori dragon - you were a much loved colleague and friend. i'll always remember your cheeky grin as you skulked around avoiding paperwork smelling of more than a pack of ciggies with the faintest hint of gin. i love the fact you died remaining as wild and un-tamed as you were xxx

rough patch

rough patches are always so rough because they generally come when you least expect. like after an amazing weekend of sunshine, friends, good food and family togetherness.

roughness seems to hit after your 'expected' rough patch. like when you have something in your immediate future you are dreading. it comes along and you think everything is going to fall apart.  you fail to acknowledge that it all stays firmly together and you needn't have worried so much and then....

BAM!

that rough patch hits - just as the dust settles. just as you are squooshing your metaphorical toes into the sand of happiness and possible complacency. what the hell is with that?

what makes it possibly worse is that you feel even more self indulgent for feeling so miffed when you hear of families scouring bushland for their kids' remains, outrageous dictators clinging to power, entire countries starving. even a fellow mama who's kid has croup. even with all that going on i still manage to feel childishly hard done by and like i'd just LOVE a good ole fashioned TANTRUM.

these days can feel especially hard when *gasp - did she really say it* you smile and it doesn't make my heart melt. i feel tired. and old. and really, really BORING. i have to say though - looking at that pack of party whistles you have viciously enjoyed does begin to warm the cockles of my heart............

*rant over*